LAST WEEKEND: 1ST PLACE

Since I have written so much about our showdog, Gaybe (rhymes with maybe), I thought I should at least announce that last weekend in Pueblo, CO he won two champion points and placed first in two classes. It was so odd that the day before hubby and I were considering not showing anymore since he had not done well on that day.  We did remind ourselves that we had made a commitment to the breeder to show both days and so we returned on Sunday and then the miracle occurred. (Only 13 more points to full Champ status.)

It reminded me of the phrase: "Don't leave before the miracle occurs." If you think AA is not working for you, be patient. After all, it took a long time to get you in the room. Give it some time to keep you there with a miracle in your pocket. We may not give out ribbons or trophies, but you will have something far more precious. It is called happiness, a new freedom and the real joy of living. Here's to all the potential champions in the program.  Love ya!

MEASURING IN FEET

It started snowing on Tuesday and it stopped at 10:00 p.m. on Thursday. It reminded me of my childhood when the blizzards would white out life for what seemed an eternity when you have no lights and no running water. We had heat and a cook stove due to the magic of propane. Nonetheless, when that winter was finally leaving us (Winter is South Dakota is like an extended trip on a frozen ice flow---no sun, no warmth, high winds, wind chills in the -40 to 70 range for days, and snow on the ground from Oct. through April.) we had accumulated 171 inches of snow and when we road the bus to school we could not see out of the windows due to the embankments.  Trench warfare and snow was the enemy.

The day after the snow stopped here it was 61 degrees Farenheit. The melt has been fast and the sun is comfortably warm.  The reassurance of not-yet-winter returned with a sort of air-conditioned Indian summer.

I have, it seems, worried some of you by not blogging daily. Sorry about that. I am just fine and dandy and so busy with the events of a normal life that this has taken a secondary role. I think too that there are so many of you around that what I was writing seemed a bit trite and not helpful, even to me. So I took a pause and decided that if I had something really vital to share, I would be back. It also crossed my mind to quit and remove the blog, but I am delaying that for now. It is not so much about being conflicted or this activity becoming a conflict or burden as it is about wanting to eliminate the tendency to just blather on. I was I feel getting pretty good at that. Blathering is not attractive or helpful. So, I will post now and again and I feel too that in the AA spirit I am a bit constrained to live and post here according to the principles of not endorsing anything. My thoughts lately have run to things I want to promote. All in accord with the principles of AA, but some of these are not neutral to living in the "secular" world outside of AA. Politics, religion, and taxes are subjects that come to mind. Corruption, crime and law are there too. Political discourse intrigues me. Campaigns inspire me. Unseating corrupt officials is motivating. Doing the next right thing in the context of my life is taking real shape. But I am having to think clearly about the form that that takes too. So this blogging thing here is less about a program of attraction, and more about a different path of promotion. At odds with AA at times, yes. Clearly inconsistent? No. So I am pondering, rather than posting. It takes some time to sort through what appears here consistent with a description of "road of sobriety" and what should not appear here that might be construed as "inconsistent with the principles of the 12 steps."  Not rising to the level of dilemma, but rather, in clear view as to primary purpose and pure motive. I cannot in good conscience place a bad motive inside a good one and expect anyone in the program to take me seriously. I am finding my spiritual journey becoming much deeper to the degree that denominational influences are important. But I do not want to use this space as a pulpit for my faith of choice. Neutrality is key.  Love and tolerance is vital. Serenity is paramount. Peace and joy are the goals.

That my lovelies is why I have been absent. Like Marcel Marceau: nothing much to say. See you when....

JUST FOR FUN!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHZ85f0YOq8  MAGIC IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING WHEN IT MAKES YOU LAUGH. 

OF ALL THINGS BLUE

Mary Christine called out on behalf of Pammie (http://sobriety-is-exhausting.blogspot.com/) to look at something blue in support of Pammies care mission today watching over and caring for her mom.  Angels among us!

The temperature has dropped to the 30's this morning and the weather is to decline all day. No matter. It is a good day to get some things done in the house and around the flower beds. All my pretty pretty flowers are now wilted brown mushies and I am going to clear them and go look for pansies.  I have always loved pansies and it has also always intrigued me that it is one of the hardiest flowers with a namebn that connotes weakness. Rather like the label "Recovering Alcoholic."

That label, so misunderstood by those who hear only the "alcoholic" portion, is one I carry with satisfaction. I know we are strong, durable, trustworthy and lovely to behold. Recovery is so much better than not recovering. I didn't know that before. I could not imagine it. I had no idea of the strength and commitment of its members. I had no concept of the depths of strength available to assist us when we feel weak, alone, defeated. It defies the logic of normal thinking. It is the way to sanity. It is the peace that passes all understanding. Stay sober today, ok?

WHAT HAPPENS IN THE MEETING,

STAYS IN THE MEETING, UNLESS...

This is short and an invitation for comment. This statement disturbed me this morning and I have yet to reconcile my feelings on it. Thus, this call for a poll of your thoughts. The statement?

"Every now and then I drink a non-alcoholic beer which I know contains a little alcohol."

Well, peeps. Reactions, anyone?

ONE OF THOSE DAYS/WEEKS

I am out of sorts for a variety of reasons none of which has anything to do with physical conditions. It was been a day that has ended a week with headlines and announcements local and national that are constant reminders of how little influence each of us has in this world. It is also a reminder of how much influence each of us can have in this world if we pay attention and remember the history of those who have walked ahead and cleared the way for the quality of life we enjoy.

I am not ashamed to declare that I am a patriot. I love this country. I came from a very modest background and believed and proved that I could catch the American Dream and improve myself through hard work and upright actions. I have traveled abroad and have never ever returned to this wonderful place without an etheral feeling in my body and a renewed sense of the greatness of this place we call America. Each trip reaffirmed the precious liberties we possess (I almost got arrested once in another country for chewing gum!) and the opportunities we can claim. I am worried today about America.

 I could write an entire screed on the failures and fractures in social and cultural education of young people. I could drone on about the disturbing trends of sexual activity, drug use, alcohol abuse, and violence among teens and young adults. But this is not the proper forum for that and I doubt that anyone visiting this site is remotely interested in my opinion on such matters. I am simply and unequivocally frustrated because what I prayed would not happen this week did happen. It is not something that has happened to me personally. It has happened to me as a citizen. I fear that we are turning a corner in the global community that will take us back to a time like that not so many years ago when several hundreds of thousands of men died to liberate a continent from a ruthless dictator. Only this time we have a fraternity of madmen/dictators who are joining together to play global chess with nuclear pieces. They are actively growing a new pledge class to join them. We have given them no reason or deterrent not to play this wicked frightful game. I am praying for us all tonight. I am grateful  now more than ever that I am not drinking. Sobriety is a must in times like these. From the transport of a terrrorist out of Colorado for trial in NY to the failure of the UN to reacquaint itself with its charter and primary purpose, I am decidedly disappointed. I will pray for this great country and all of its leaders. I will pray for Israel and its continued courage. I will pray that our allies will have continuing patience with us and stay our allies. I will pray for law enforcement officers who do so much with so little for so many who do not respect them properly. I will pray for the oppressed in Iran, Chile, Honduras, Libya, Syria, Saudi Arabia, China, Russia, Zimbabwe, and any other place where the heavy boot of oppression reigns. 

I will also pray that my emotions will not harden to anger. I am not equipped to handle anger.  And I do think that is why I am anxious. I am glad I know how to pray. It beats a brick wall.

LOVELY, AREN'T THEY?

In search of an explanation for my night before last's Up-All-Night party of me with the commode, I came across the likely culprit. These lovelies are the microbes which bear the potential for transmitting various forms of  food poisoning.  For those who to this day do not believe in God, perhaps a bout with one of these lovelies would bring you to faith. If nothing else they will bring you to your knees, literally.  I wish I could say I am all better now, but I am at least better than I was. (Sadder truth in this was I was the chef, but that is another story.)

It used to amuse me to sit in a meeting of AA and listen to people who after extended continuous sobriety would be giving high thanks and praise for experiencing once again the thrill and agony of hugging the porcelain "god" due to some stomach ailment. I thought they were absolutely crackers.

I must admit that after this brief yet violent bout with my upset gut, I too was whisked back to memories of more turbulent days when drinking was the priority in life and the outcome of its excesses was a rapid and often painful trip to the bathroom.  It is very difficult to look at all dignified yet alone serene when one has the last syrupy vestiges of chunky puke saliva dripping from your chin. It doesn't smell particularly good either. This whole episode had but one impact: Gratitude for no longer being in the prison of alcohol.  Praise be to God!

And to think that somehow, when sharing this morning at a meeting the subject of which was Tradition Nine, I managed to relate this puking episode to the tradition.  At this point I don't really remember the share. But my good friend Big John said that the combination of this tradition and puking in a meeting discussion was a first for him so he was really glad he came this morning. Cue: laughter.

We are a curious lot. I am again reminded that one never knows who or how we might help when we share. I too am glad that I went this morning. I have had something to giggle about all day. We are not a glum lot. Happy sobriety!

PRO RE NATA

Language has always fascinated me. I could spend hours paging through a dictionary or thesaurus and find absolute contentment and delight through the origins of words. I ran across this little ditty from several links through blogs various and curious. It means "as necessary". 

This is what I have been doing with meeting attendance. I have been "prn", so the abbreviation goes. In the past, I heeded the admonition: "If you wake up and feel like you need a meeting, you probably do." Of late, I have ignored this little vibration. No, I am not feeling like I am in a straight-jacket. Yet. But I write about this today to ensure that I am giving this a voice that will hopefully invade my subconscious and assist me in waking up on time. I have been sleeping so well that getting up is difficult. This morning the alarm rang, the dog jumped on the bed, the hum of the fan beckoned me back to sleep. I chose sleep.

I do think I needed the rest. The past three days have been extra busy and full of emotions.

But today I felt guilty in not going to the meeting. I know when this starts, that emotional blackmail will start to invade conscious thought, and then word and deed during the day. I must not pay the ransom. I will, tomorrow, fly from my cozy bed and hit the road.  Meetings cannot be pro re nata. They must be preemptive and constant.  I have found that the routine of sober living has been as important as the content. It is not a rigid one. It must simply contain the components placed at some time during the day in full recognition and participation.  What is that quote? Oh yeah:

"Clean house and love God." And the rest follows. Stay sober out there. It is worth it, it really is.